INCEST, RAPE, AND FORGIVENESS, I FORGAVE MY FATHER FOR HIS INCEST, SEXUAL ABUSE

YOU MEANT IT FOR HARM BUT GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD!

GOD'S LOVE PROVIDE'S THE POWER TO HEAL

"INCEST, RAPE, ABUSE, SORROW, PAIN, SHAME, CAN BE HEALED IN JESUS NAME!"

By Synthia Esther

Abuse is never justified. But God's power to heal is ever near. I remember a question posed me from Connie (listed below), on my MySpace page: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/SYNTHIAESTHERSEM, pertaining to my "Dear Synthia" question and answer blog. While Connie's pain is self evident, the power of God's love provides hope through Jesus Christ our Lord (Psalm 39:7). "I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

CONNIE RELATES HER QUESTION, MY FATHER THE MOLESTER...

Dear Synthia,

I am 14 years and have been sexually molested by my father since I was 3 or 4 years old. My mother works the night shift and my father works days. As soon as Dad knows my 8 year old brother is sleeping he comes into my room to have sex with me. I have lived in fear most all of my life. I want my Dad to love me but not like this!

My Dad is very smart. He has never once molested me when mom was around. I don't want to tell her and even if I did I don't know for sure if she would believe me. I can't tell my friends because I am afraid of what they would think of me. You are the only one I have ever told. Please Synthia, tell me what I can do to make my Dad stop wanting to have sex with me? Please answer this letter for you are my only hope. Should I stay or should I go?

Connie

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SYNTHIA ESTHER RESPONDS...

Dear Connie,

You are a precious child of God. He is your loving heavenly Father, Savior, and Friend. Unlike your earthly father, God will not abuse you, nor will He leave you, or forsake you. He knows your fears, sees your tears and desires to give you a life filled with hope and a future (Jere. 29:11).

Connie, you are facing a giant in the dark and it is time to bring God's light into this crime against your heart, mind, and spirit. In order for God's will to happen within your life you will need to bring your secret into the light. As long as there are "secrets" you remain a victim. You change your future by what you do today. Taking the first step by writing me has put you on a path towards emotional healing.

Before telling your mother or confronting your father you can prepare yourself with needed information and resources that will enable you to make informed decisions. Having someone who can relate to your situation first hand, provide support, and encouragement will be enpowering in and of itself. You can begin by telling a church (same sex) youth leader, and/or a professional counselor. You may also contact the following resources for additional help and assistance:

The National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453), offers immediate help via telephone counselors. Website: www.childhelp.org

Rape, Abuse And Incest National Network: www.rainn.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE).

Would I stay or would I go? I cannot answer that question Connie, because I have never had to deal with incest abuse. Because it is outside of my personal experience and expertise I pray you will call or reach out to someone who can provide you with answers to your questions.

Connie, you are in my prayers. Don't give up! God and His providential grace, mercy, and love will see you through. You are not alone. The RAINN website claims it happens every 2.5 minutes in America. God Bless You! Write me and let me know how you are. I care, and more importantly, God cares.

Synthia Esther

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A SELFISH LUST-FILLED LOVE BUILDS WALLS. WHILE GOD'S UNSELFISH LOVE BUILDS BRIDGES...

YOU INTENDED TO HARM ME BUT GOD MEANT IT FOR GOOD...

Dispite incest, rape, pain and sorrow, our heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, can provide the unconditional love you may have never received. God gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the Cross of Calvary, offering sin's redemption plan (John 3:16). All because He loves you! I am reminded of the proclamation in God's word by Joseph, whose forgiveness is said to be an example of Christ's love and forgiveness as written in Genesis 50:19-20. Joseph went through many trials and tribulations, with his own brothers throwing him into a pit to die. Instead, they changed their minds and sold him as a slave. God's providence provided for Joseph, making him 2nd in command of all the land, subject only to the king himself. Circumstances brought on by God brought Joseph and his brothers face to face once again. Joseph's example of forgiveness is clear in his response towards his brothers, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intented it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

YOUR PAST IS BUT A STEPPING STONE TO A GREATER FUTURE...

A cynic would say, "God can't change my past." Oh, but he has. What Satan meant for harm, God uses for your good. Your past is but a stepping stone to a greater future. Your sorrow provides empathy for those victims who have also walked your journey, likewise feeling the pain of betrayal. Incest is a betrayal of trust. With such wounds the victim often blames themselves for sin's shame. Such is Satan's plan. But God's past, as He shed His blood on Calvary's Cross, changes your past, present, and future. For all is under the sacrifical Lamb's shed blood. He died a death He did not deserve, defeating the curse of sin and it's shame. After His death, He rose again on the third day, bringing back to life that which was lost. As a child of the King of kings and Lord of lords, He will do the same for you! If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 For as many as received Him to them gave He power to become sons of God." - John 1:12

"Thou wilt show me that path of life; in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." - Psalms 16:11

GOD'S LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, AND EVERLASTING...

May you gleam knowledge of the magnitude of God's love for you. There is no fear in God's love. For His perfect love casts out all fear. - 1st John 4:18 God's love builds a bridge of hope, turning your pain into gain. "They that sow in tears, reap in joy!" - Psalms 126:5 Being happy in Jesus doesn't mean everything in your life will be perfect and pleasant. It means that you've given God control of your life looking beyond the imperfections, knowing God will make your crooked path straight, and ordain your victory. I pray for the incest victims of sexual abuse, that out of God's glorious, unlimited resources, they will find the mighty inner strengthening of His Holy Spirit. - Ephesians 3:16 God is our refuge and fortress; in Him we can trust. - Psalms 91:2 No problem is too big for God's power; No person is too small for God's love. He is the Father you may have never had. A true Friend upon whom you can depend. The source of real joy is true love. God gives us such love. In turn we can become an instrument of God's love, by passing love forward.

"Then make me truly happy by loving each other, working together with one heart and mind and purpose." - Philippians 2:2

"There are three things that remain - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

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RAPE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELP:

IF YOU ARE SUFFERING DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND/OR ABUSE, WE PRAY YOU PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN.

* PLEASE VISIT OUR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL RESOURCE PAGE ON THIS WEBSITE TITLED: "STOP VIOLENCE"

GOD'S FREE GIFT OF SALVATION:

* IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR, HEAVENLY FATHER, AND FRIEND, PLEASE VISIT OUR SALVATION RESOURCE PAGE ON THIS WEBSITE TITLED: "A FREE GIFT"

* JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!